Honey
by Dawn Bently
Summary: And so, as the two sat across from one another in a small café located in the muggle area of London, Lily was looking at the man Scorpius had wanted to be while he looked at the woman Lily appeared to be.


The Wizarding World's Most Eligible Bachelor certainly enjoyed all the attention but never truly could see beneath the surface. Not that he was interested anyway. It's not as though Scorpius Malfoy was one to look for any redeeming qualities in a beautiful witch willing to throw herself his way. So long as she knew how to bat her eyelashes and crawl out of bed in the early mornings, there was nothing else for him to look for in a woman. Well, her undergarments and the tactful way she implored in removing them often played a part, but not an overwhelming one. Usually the only requirements he had of a girl were that she did display some kind of beauty and didn't work nights.

He didn't have time for such scandalous affairs in the day hours. Instead, Scorpius Malfoy was too busy working the channels of his father's vastly growing empire. Astoria's Apothecary simply did not run its self, and since Draco Malfoy's widely publicized retirement, the task of running the company named for his mother was handed off to the ever capable Scorpius Malfoy. Not that he'd ever asked for such a burden. Even with an assistant, he found it impossible to meet all the requirements of the job, to the point where he'd declared certain things shouldn't be required of him at all. Things like showing up on the days he didn't want to.

After appointing a few highly qualified business people, who ironically were the main complainers of Scorpius' incompetence, Scorpius allowed himself more time to do nothing. Because that was the correct order of the important events in his life. He'd graduated Hogwarts, not particularly high in his class, but certainly not below the half way mark, then applied to join the ranks of the Aurors. Auror training certainly hadn't been any better than any Defense Against the Dark Arts class at Hogwarts, and after some snide remarks from more experienced Aurors that Scorpius Malfoy would never be the dueler his father was, he removed himself from the program. He'd always been rather talented at Potions, and so he attempted to simply brew potions for any one of his father's open shops. That decision did not sit well with Draco, who insisted his son be among the higher ranks of the family business. Then of course, Scorpius was quickly told he didn't have the business skills his father did. That, of course, made no difference in Draco's decision to leave the business in his son's hands.

And then there was her. And she was just as broken as he was, but he was too stupid to tell. Lily Potter, however, certainly wasn't.

She knew right away he wasn't the same somewhat happy Slytherin she remembered from her Hogwarts days. He'd grown more somber since the days he triumphed over the opposing Quidditch team or defeated her brother in a so-called-friendly completion in class grades. He's eyes had lost a bit of shine, and his smile had changed as well. It was still there, but it wasn't quite as captivating as she recalled it to be.

All memories aside, Lily Potter manage pleasantly normal conversation with Scorpius Malfoy whenever the two happened to cross paths. Since she was just as talented as he in the art of masking one's true emotion, only she knew of the torment from Scorpius' decline haunting her. It wasn't just sad that such a capable boy grow into a borderline pathetic man, but that she had changed in almost identical ways. Of course, reasonable Ravenclaws had more sensible ways of dealing with stress than sleeping with any breathing witch. But nobody really knew Lily's preferred way of coping. As the least followed, and therefore least important, Potter child, her methods of daily life were not so publically documented as Scorpius Malfoy's.

She had the occasional headlining case, but the time it took Auror Lily Potter to catch her man had always been ridiculed. Would Harry Potter have done so quicker? Well, of course. The man only killed Voldemolt. Surely he'd been perfectly able to track down any outlaw and return them to justice at least a day quicker than his only female off spring. Beyond his preceding legendary qualities, Harry Potter had been an Auror himself, only adding to the extensive comparisons to their parents both Lily Potter and Scorpius Malfoy simply could not escape.

But only Lily was paying attention enough to see it. Scorpius was too accustomed to the outer layers of a person to ever really notice what they cover up. And so, as the two sat across from one another in a small café located in the muggle area of London, Lily was looking at the man Scorpius had wanted to be while he looked at the woman Lily appeared to be.

Her red hair had darkened over the years, making her appear far more mature than the last time he'd seen the fiery girl. Her brown eyes were the same as they'd always been to him, since he was unbelievably blind to the pain she'd slowly started to reveal to him. But they weren't just brown the way he remembered her cousin Rose's to be. Lily's eyes had another depth of color he couldn't yet place. Though he didn't consciously notice, he'd always let down his guard around her. Of course, the moment the two returned to the Wizarding World, her brown eyes returned to their emotionless state, and Scorpius Malfoy attempted to step back into his womanizing profile. Eventually, he would owl Lily for another meeting, finding her company sometimes more desirable than even the most beautiful of witches nearest to him. But with every meeting, his charming smile began to falter, and he had so quickly become nearly incapable of charming any woman around him. Any woman other than the smiling red haired browned eyed woman seated fully clothed across the table from him.

He'd confided his recent string of trouble with women in Lily, but she had quickly averted her eyes to the steaming contents of the mug clutched between her small hands. Though he'd never let any woman really affect him on an emotional level, other than pure lust, he couldn't stop the sudden pang of hurt when he saw the slight frown across her pink lips. It was so foreign, but he could vaguely recall the feeling from his Hogwarts days when he'd been so enamored with love that any little bump could send his heart flying in a million directions at once. But that was just a silly schoolboy rendition of real love, wasn't it? Lily's half hidden fallen face couldn't really do that to him. He'd since outgrown such childish feelings, he was certain.

Eventually, Lily admitted she wasn't the right person to say anything about the more successful tactics to use when in search of women, and the topic was quickly dropped. Instead, the pair wound up on the trivial topic of their drinking habits. Scorpius had noted Lily seemed to favor tea over coffee, while he was simply in love with the strong muggle drink. Friendly debate ensued and smiles accompanied the topic. She defended her favorite drink, claiming a bit of honey could make even the foulest of things sweet enough to taste. As he watched her face light up and her eyes open a bit wider, he realized her brown eyes had flecks of honey. When the sunlight struck her face through the window, they were bright gold working harmoniously with the chocolate brown of the rest of her eyes. As she lifted her arm up to push the hair from her face, she blocked the natural light for just a moment. Then the bright gold dulled to a softer shade that made her eyes even more appealing to him. They were certainly versatile eyes he could spend a great deal of time watching, and not just when the drapes were drawn and clothes decorated the floor.

Eventually, they had finished their drinks, but neither wanted to face their world so soon after. The muggle world was like an escape for each of them. Lily knew they were escaping the same thing, but Scorpius still couldn't see it. It didn't really matter though, because he wanted just as badly for his escape with Lily to last a bit longer than just the time it took to enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. For that reason, he suggested a walk, even though he expected Lily had demands on her time and couldn't linger for much longer. To his surprise, she agreed, and the two strolled down the sidewalk side by side. A good few hours had passed in conversations about nothing and everything at the same time, but it had been mere minutes for the pair.

Returning to "normal" life proved even more difficult, and Scorpius began to spend an increasing number of nights alone. It baffled him how he could no longer seek out womanly company as easily as he once had before. At the same time, however, he admitted to himself that he didn't necessarily miss it, though that was an equally baffling concept. On the nights he did spend alone, he often made himself a cup of tea, complete with honey, and attempted to focus on catching up on the months of paperwork he'd let slip by. Usually he managed to be productive for a good number of documents until the sweetness of the honey pulled his mind out of the reality that had become so much less harsh in recent weeks. Instead, the sweet additive transported his mind to his escape, but it wasn't really his anymore. It belonged to Lily just as much as it did to him.

The longer his mind lingered on her, the more he wanted to see her again. Something about her made his life so much easier, but he still had yet to realize what exactly it was. All he knew was that the days following a meeting with Lily never required the distraction of another witch, and he felt happier overall, anyway. Eventually the feeling faded, but it was always replaced with a desire he could not ignore to see her again. It had gotten to the point where she had nearly taken over every last corner of his mind and seeing her again was the only way to clear it again. Except Scorpius was already learning that the days afterward became shorter and shorter after each time he saw her. This concern, however, had simply disappeared the moment Lily strolled through the door of the café.

She was dressed in a summer dress, fitting of the hot weather surrounding them, but her hair was falling down in long curls and settling over her shoulders and arms. She ordered a hot cup of tea, despite the weather, but Scorpius had adored the choice. Months had since passed since their first off chance meeting, and though Lily had seem something between them from the beginning, Scorpius was only beginning to realize the depth Lily Potter was composed of. She'd already confided her troubles in the Ministry concerning her father and expectations from her, and he was quick to relate. He though he sounded as though he was diminishing her or problems, but Lily had smiled brightly at him as though nothing troubled her fragile heart at all. Conversation then continued, but the connection that between them lingered in Scorpius' mind. It felt so familiar to him, as though they'd shared their similar problems forever, but he knew it was ridiculous, considering they'd only just had the conversation. The instantaneous connection had made his chest warm, a sensation as equally foreign as the hurt he'd felt with her prior. The warmth, however, was welcomed and he found the longer conversation continued, the more intense the feeling she created within him. The longer it was there, the more he realized it'd always been there. Lily had always made him feel so complete, but he'd been too concerned with the trivial problems of life like his empty bed to truly take notice.

He didn't want to define the feeling, deciding that giving such a wonderful feeling a name and a reason would strip it of its mysterious quality. Instead, Scorpius walked beside Lily and carried on conversation hoping the feeling wouldn't fade. As they continued, the heat had begun to take its toll on the pair, but Scorpius had jumped at the chance to try muggle ice cream. He was sure it wouldn't come in the same fantastic flavors offered at wizarding parlors, but he wanted to try nonetheless. Lily had laughed as his childlike desire for ice cream and complied when they found an ice cream parlor. As he had reached out to open the door for her, she had done the same. For the briefest of moments, their hands had touched, but Lily had quickly withdrawn her fingers. She wasn't nearly quick enough, and the sensation had already gone through Scorpius' entire chest when he peered down at her. She kept her eyes averted from his and he couldn't help but wonder if she had felt it to. She had to. Such a powerful feeling as the one she created in him couldn't only be his. He had to have done the same to her. How he hoped he did the same for her.

She wanted to walk with their ice cream, and so after paying for each of their selections, he followed her out of the store. Though she still hadn't made any real eye contact with him, Scorpius wanted to stay with her for just a moment longer. He always wanted just a moment longer it seemed, and he was suddenly reminded that the number of days she would leave him sane would be shortened again. In his mind, Lily Potter was like a blessed curse. She excited so many unknown feelings with him and left him happy even after they'd parted ways. Except the time he was happy decreased, the time he needed with her was slowly increasing as well. And he had never been a man to spend too much time with any one woman, but it seemed Lily was well worth an exception.

By the time they'd finished their scoops of ice cream, Lily had looked into his eyes again. He wanted to count the flecks of honey staring at him, but he was distracted by another quality in her eyes and face. She looked worried to him, but he couldn't understand what was bothering her. She'd been smiling when they had been in the café, and he was certain he'd done nothing to upset her. Yet, her trouble eyes stared up at him with an accompanying half smile. For a woman of her beauty, he was sure she wasn't doing herself justice. He knew no other way to erase the pain from her face other than to smooth away the barely worry lines across her temples with his thumb. Almost instantly, her face had changed. He'd pulled back, unsure if he'd somehow crossed the invisible boundary between them, but he swore she had moved with his hand for the briefest moment as he was pulling away.

Deciding she had wanted him to stay, he reached for her again, but instead cradled her cheek in the palm of her hand. Her eyes had drifted hut, and she'd even tilted her head in his hand ever so slightly. Gently, he brushed his thumb against the line of her cheek as he debated the kiss he wanted so desperately to give her. Had she been any other woman they'd have long ago been in his private living space halfway undressed, but he didn't want that. Well, on some level he wanted it, but he didn't want Lily to be like any other woman he'd ever been with. She was different and he didn't want to ruin her with his own destructive behavior.

So against his own judgment, he pressed their lips together. Her pink lips and shut eyes had been more than he could handle, but he'd already decided it would be only a small kiss. He only wanted to know the feeling of her lips against his, and then he would pull away, sure she would never want his company again. But as her lips responded to his, Scorpius had become overwhelmed with the sensation of her lips against his and the explosion of odd feelings in his chest. And as though Lily had been plotting the best way to make him lose his mind, she touched his neck with her fingertips. It was like she wanted to touch him and pull him closer but knew no way to go about it. The innocence and uncertainty she suffered from plagued him as well, despite his expertise in the matters of physical interactions. All of his previous encounters with women did nothing to prepare him for Lily's kiss, he quickly learned. It simply wasn't the same.

He certainly had feelings for all those women, but it was nothing compared the way he felt around Lily. In his heart of hearts he knew he had at some point regressed into childish feelings of love in its most innocent and powerful form, but he couldn't admit it to himself. He'd never felt such feelings of love with anybody since he had been in Hogwarts, but even that was different from Lily. He had actually been a child then, so eager for love and finding it every which way he looked. Lily had found him and it was certainly more real with her than it had ever been with any summer fling. And yet, more importantly, the women Scorpius was more accustomed to often wore lip color which tasted of something like wax to him. Of course, he didn't really care, but as he tasted Lily's lips, he detected the sweetness of honey. She truly was intoxicating to him to the point where he needed to force himself to stop.

He hadn't wanted to ruin their odd relationship as reacquainted friends by changing their relationship. He never saw a woman more than a few times and he couldn't risk that with Lily. No, he needed to keep Lily, but he had wanted to taste her lips so desperately. When she opened her eyes, the worry was gone and for a moment he allowed himself to believe it could be different. He could be anything Lily wanted so long as she smiled at him just like that.

When his allotted time of happiness ended after their meeting, however, Scorpius knew better. He was too realistic to be fooled by ridiculous notions of true love. Such things didn't exist outside Hogwarts where people were older and wiser. Well, he was just made cynical by the harsh world, but he called the quality realistic instead. Being realistic, he decided not to owl Lily to inquire about the next time she would be free for coffee and tea. Eventually, she had owled him and after some internal debate, he'd left it unanswered.

It had taken some time, but eventually Scorpius managed to return to his old self. He recalled the best ways to charm any woman with a flash of a smile, and eventually had company for the night to prove it. Though she hadn't left early the next morning as he'd usually like, he let the matter slide considering she was the first in quite some time. As he made breakfast, he tried to have conversation with her, but he had quickly come to the realization that she was not Lily. Doing his best to ignore the comparison, he continued on with the odd conversation. Quickly enough, they had finished and she had started to collect her things strewn about the room. Still wearing one of his shirts, she attempted to convince him into meeting again, and though he agreed he had no intentions of ever seeing her again.

Perfectly timed, a knock on the door provided an escape from the girl, and Scorpius started to walk towards the door. He ran his hand through his messy hair in attempt to appear as though he did not just roll out of bed. He knew it was a useless effort but it made him feel better anyway. When he pulled the door open, however, the inconsequential topic of his appearance did not matter.

He wanted to say anything, but it seemed it was too early in the morning for conversation. That of course was a lie he told himself. It wasn't too early; he just had no idea what to say to Lily Potter. Not that she could hear his words anyway. She had already seen the scantily dressed woman behind him and anything he said would be lost behind the sound of her heart breaking in her chest. Not even he could hear his own thoughts over the sound, and he was just watching her face as it happened. She had said nothing as well, but it was all too clear in her eyes, her honey eyes that had suddenly filled with tears his own heart couldn't take.

He shut his eyes tightly as he drew in a breath and stepped out into the hall, pulling the door shut behind him. He couldn't let Lily eyes linger on the sight any longer, and eventually she looked up into his. He wanted to plead with her. Beg her not to break. He had done everything he could not to break her, and it seemed he had broken her despite his best attempts. When her sob escape her throat, it echoed in his mind. He forced his eyes open, and found her staring up at him, still keeping the silence between them and inadvertently killing him slowly with it. Perhaps it was on purpose and he was sure he deserved that much, if not worse.

The tears rolled down her cheeks as she held his gaze and he absolutely hated himself for being the reason they were there at all. He wanted to reach out and wipe them all away much like had before, but he restrained himself and clutched his fingers into a fist at his side. Eventually, Lily only shook her head as she took a step back from him. She saw the mutual heart break in his face, but she turned from him and left him behind before he could see her shatter even more. So few times in her life had she ever known love, and it seemed love was determined not to stay. She didn't want to be so cynical and so broken, considering she'd only ever kissed Scorpius.

Their months long affair hadn't been physical in the slightest, and yet the sight of another woman had been more than enough to destroy her. Some part of her had always known Scorpius wasn't really hers, but his smiling had done away with all that logical thinking. Instead, she'd let herself fall into the love Scorpius had deemed childish.

Determined not to let one man consume her, Lily began to push forward with her life, leaving thoughts of Scorpius behind. She wasn't exactly successful when the news of Scorpius' early retirement made front page news on nearly every source of news, creditable or otherwise. Nobody could understand why a man such as Scorpius Malfoy would resign from a position of such power and prestige, but Lily wanted to think he was stepping towards a new and different life. Of course, she'd wanted to never think of Scorpius, but she had sabotaged her own plan. In order to escape the news of Scorpius Malfoy, she'd retreated to their café, foolishly believing a cup of tea with honey would erase his memory. His touch. His kiss.

Then, as though fate wanted to redo its initial mistake, Scorpius had walked into the café as well.


End file.
